A rambling rant

I have absolutely nothing to say, but if I write here than I can give myself permission to not work on the memoir today; I really dislike the rewrite and editing part and of course this requires neither.
I am still pondering my assignment for this coming Sunday's planning session, but I suppose if I had enough faith I would just count on the spirit guiding me. Somehow, I think I have to spend time preparing anyway. The arrogance of human pride! What concerns me is that I think Barb is hoping I can pull off something I'm not sure anyone could pull off. But I think I've reached the point in life that I either will or will not please her and it will work out as it does; I don't feel that I will have let her down either way. I still struggle with that female disease "need to please" but not nearly to the extent that I used to.
I am even more concerned with finishing this project of revising trust/will business so that all is in order. I am tired of dwelling on it and I always get antsy with things hanging when I am getting ready for a trip.
Another item weighing on the mind is the curseed holidays...look out, here comes the grinch in me! I hate the pressure it puts on the kids and all that travel for them (i spend the whole time worrying about them on the road!). I do not want any gifts....I spend too much time shopping for myself..I have no room for anything more...and I certainly don't want anything with calories. If there is any family our there wondering what to get me the answer is easy....family pictures, fresh flowers, a CD of my granddaughters singing, liposuction,,,you get the idea.
Why does Christmas have to be such an ordeal? We are buying into the consumer mentality; I feel so pressured to like all the hoopla. It's even hard to enjoy the gift giving to grandkids who already have so much and do we really want to reinforce the greed thing?
Every year about this time I start thinking how could we do Christmas differently? What would be a meaningful way to celebrate life and the days beginning to grow longer? I have never come up with anything that could buck the force of the culture.
Well, I have vented on enough subjects for one day and managed to avoid my real work for a while. Mission accomplished!