Forgiveness

( When I started this blog I said I wanted to write my ethical will in order to pass on to my sons what I value most and believe in. Finally, I am starting that process with my first entry.)

Ethical Will: Forgiveness

There is no more valuable gift than forgiveness. It is at the heart of what it means to be compassionate. And once you have learned the process it actually becomes easier over time.

Ghandi said that the weak are unable to forgive; forgiveness comes from strength of character. But the strongest argument in favor of forgiving is the gift it becomes to the one who forgives. Anyone who has struggled with this can tell you that harboring ill will, anger, resentment against someone who has wronged you only harms you. Chances are the other person is totally unaware of your thoughts (or even unaware that you f eel wronged).

But hanging on to that negative stuff is to keep it active in your mind and body. It has been likened to drinking poison on a daily basis. It doesn’t harm the other; it harms you. It keeps you emotionally stuck in the past. It holds you back from enjoying the present. And it can literally make you sick.

How do you forgive? You let go. Literally. You let go of the negative feelings. You dismiss the importance you’ve attached to your object of anger. You take back your power over your own emotional state. And you acknowledge that the one who hurt you is not a demon, but a flawed creature, as you are.

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or approving what wrong was done you. It simply means that you give yourself a release from that negativity that eats away at you. It gives you renewed energy for the present. It gives you an inner peace that helps heal your soul of its wounds. It increases your capacity to love. What greater gift could you possibly give yourself and those around you?